Lately I've been having these 'death' thoughts come up. Strange as it may seem, these tend to come up as I'm approaching a major shift or step in my own Spiritual growth.
It may seem odd, and in unconsciousness, it would be down right scary, but I'm able to see through the fear to understand there is something much deeper going on here. Any aspect of growth is really a 'death'. It is the dying off of the old so that we can grow anew.
Nevertheless, I have fears rising to the surface all around this sense of death.
Instead of pushing it away, I chose to do what I always tell you to do. I chose to pick the energy apart to see just exactly what was in the fear.
Whenever this sort of fear energy has come up for me, in honesty, I've never actually sat down and looked at and I always just associated it with a fear of dying. But that would explain why it doesn't actually go away for good, it keeps coming back with each major step forward that I take.
With my new found awareness and conscious choice to explore the fear, I realized, that for me, the fear was not of my own death. I am not afraid to die. What I do have fear of though is leaving my son who is now eight.
It got me thinking: how many of us fear our own death and how many of us fear leaving someone behind? These are two totally different energies and we would need to work on these fears completely differently.
A fear of our own death can be connected to so many things: attachment, uncertainty, unknowing, lack of faith, ego, the mind to name but a few things.
Fear of leaving someone behind is connected to primarily the belief that someone will not be o.k. if we are not around. But if we believe in each persons' individual journey, that their journey is instrumental to who they become and the life lessons they learn; then this is truly one of those fears that we can simply hand over to our Spirit and let go of.
We cannot control the life experience of another. It doesn't matter if we live or die, their life experience will ultimately be, their life experience.
Do I hope to be here for many, many moments of my son's life as he grows up. Absolutely! Will he be O.K. if I'm not here? Of course. Even if he experiences sadness, loss and pain I have to know that this is his journey. And I hope that everything I have taught him and shared with him thus far will help to carry him forward, but again, if it doesn't, it is his life path.
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